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Category Archives: Books

 

 

What’s the Story?

Doctor Mara Fox, leading fertility doctor, is bored of her work. A colleague approaches her with an offer seemingly too good to be true: her own department, an extraordinary budget, and no oversight. The only downside: it’s technically part of a religious college.

After dithering about for a quarter of the book, Mara goes. Everything is great there. She meets another scientist, Scanlon, who has a mysterious department. They like each other. Like, as more than friends. This has never happened to Mara before. Scanlon tells her about his pet project: taking old relics and scouring them for Jesus’ DNA.

 

What’s the Problem?

You can probably see where the story is going: they found Jesus’ DNA and are going to clone him. Hell, you could probably tell that much from the title of the book. So the main problem is:

 

Mara Isn’t Onboard with This

She discovers the whole cloning-Christ thing when her IVF patient has a possible problem and she runs the foetus’s DNA and it doesn’t match the mother or the father. Turns out Scanlon did a switcharoo with the woman’s embryo that the potplants saw coming but our world-class, supposedly-intelligent narrator doctor doesn’t see coming.

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By Stephen Bills

Available as a free ebook or paperback.

Note: this review may be slightly biased, as it was written by the author…

 

 

What’s the Story?

Constable James Paddington has been waiting all his life for something interesting to happen on the sleepy island of Archi. Now, it has: a cow has been killed by what is clearly a supernatural creature, so Paddington calls in the Supernatural Help and Investigation Team to deal with the problem. They, instead, tend to point their guns at everything rather than solve any problems.

Oh, and Norman Winslow has documented his own zombification in a wine ledger and is now somewhere on the loose.

And now, with a horde of philosophical zombies on the loose, the Team has discovered a prophecy about the end of the world…

Like this, but with less being-eaten-by-a-giant-snake.

 

What’s the Problem?

Not Enough Zombies

Yes, okay, there’s a horde of the damned things, but for something that’s in the title – and is therefore presumably a selling point – there isn’t a whole lot of zombie stuff early on. It gets there, later, but in the early stages it’s all about Paddington and his search of what killed poor Betsy the cow.

And no, Betsy is not a zombie cow.

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What’s the Story?

Well, you’ve seen the Princess Bride film, yeah? It’s like that, but a book.

 

What’s the Problem?

The main problem is that this book doesn’t add hugely much. If you’ve seen the film, you’ve pretty much read the book except for one thing…

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What’s the Story?

Bridging the gap between Star Wars Episode III and IV, this tells the story of Darth Vader’s Secret Apprentice (he’s so secret, none of the thousands of Star Wars books or films have ever even mentioned him in passing. Shhhh!) as he hunts down the last of the Jedi and then forms the Rebel Alliance.

 

What’s the Problem?

I’ve read books by Sean Williams before. I’ve read novelisations before. The only reason for this book to be as it is is either

a) Sean Williams was given no scope to change or add anything, or

b) Sean Williams was too lazy to change or add anything.

Exactly the Damned Same

The main problem with The Force Unleashed book is that it is exactly the video game. As in, it seems Williams copy-and-pasted every line the characters say in the game and then added stage directions for where they’re standing and what they’re doing. There’s some superficial character backstory for Juno, but it’s nothing that you needed to know and nothing that impacts the story.

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What’s the Story?

Nikki Heat investigates the murder of a high-profile real-estate tycoon with the help of annoying reporter Jameson Rook.

 

What’s the Real Story?

It’s totally an episode of Castle. Replace “Heat” with “Beckett” and “Rook” with “Castle” and you’re pretty much done.

This is the book Castle was writing in the first season, the first in his Nikki Heat series. Yes, someone wrote an real book based on a book written by a fictional character within a TV series.

So who actually wrote the book? I have no idea. The book’s front and back covers and acknowledgements all list “Richard Castle” as the author, and nowhere online have I found mention of anyone other than Richard Castle writing it.

Beckett, a fictional character, reads the real book Heat Wave as fictional (or real?) author Richard Castle looks on.

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