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Monthly Archives: March 2012

by the Therry Dramatic Society.

 

 

What’s the Story?

The owner of a health resort is shot dead, then made to look like it was an accident. His replacement finds a box of chocolates on his desk and, when people eat them, they die. Looks like it’s up to this wacky cast of characters to work out whodunnit!

 

What’s the Problem?

Main Character

I forget his name and the internet isn’t the sort of place to go “looking things up”, but the main character has too many joke lines. I’d call them funny lines, but they’re not often funny. They’re lines that are supposed to be jokes, but the audience feels like it’s drowning under the sheer volume of them. Every second line of his is a half-aside to the audience or some quip that doesn’t advance the story.

And when your main character seems to be going out of his way to delay the story, it makes for a tedious time.

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What’s the Story?

John Carter has just died and left a long, rambling note to his nephew. This note explains what happened one time when John, on the run from the law (in the Old West), stumbled across a bald man in a cave and accidentally got teleported to Mars, where he became the champion/leader of a group of weird aliens and helped stop an evil guy from destroying a good civilisation.

 

What’s the Problem?

Logic

leave it at the door for this one. You can breathe oxygen on Mars. You don’t instantly freeze to death. There are entire cities. You learn Martian language by drinking a special drink they give to babies. There are a couple of alien races, and one of them looks human (and even has the same standards for sexiness).

(Not this race.)

There is some logic – John, having been raised on Earth – has denser muscle and bone than Martians so he is super strong and can leap a great distance and fall without hurting himself. This is fun. It probaby doesn’t hold up to intense scientific scrutiny, but that really isn’t what this film is about.

 

This film is about me being shirtless and riding this flying motorcycle thing.

 

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What’s the Story?

Hit novelist Alan Wake hasn’t written a word in two years, so his wife books a holiday to Cauldron Lake so he can see a specialist. Instead, his wife disappears and he wakes up in a crashed car missing a week.

 

What’s the Problem?

Not a Very Good Writer

For a best-selling author, Alan’s narration and prose lacks something. That something is “voice”. Everything he reads is not only obvious most of the time (“I saw the door. It was closed.”) but also monotonal and dull. It lacks that sense of character that makes you believe the person actually exists and that sucks you into the story.

Wow. That's, uh... well, I mean, it's only a first draft, so... so maybe it will get better.

Sometimes Alan says things that help out, directing the player toward a missed item or solution, but most of the time he’s reading out things the player could have worked out easily on his own, which makes his content just as dull as his delivery.

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