What’s the Story?
Will Rodman (James Franco) wants to cure Alzheimer’s. To help him, he’s a genetic scientist or a doctor or something; he wears a white lab coat. Anyway, they’re at the “experiment on apes” stage of testing when the ape in question goes berserk (you can see where this is going, can’t you?), smashes her way out of the cages and into the boardroom full of exectutives (here it comes…) and gets shot to death.
Yeah. Didn’t see that coming, did you?
Turns out that she had a baby, and she was getting all angry and territorial. She wasn’t power-mad or bent on enslaving humans.
Baby monkey! Baby monkey! Sleeping in a box, baby monkey!
Unable to kill the baby monkey, Will takes it home and is immediately impressed by how wicked smart it is. He realises that his gene therapy has been transferred mother-to-son, so begins some sneaky behind-the-corporation’s-back detailing of what the drug does.
In time, Ceasar (the monkey) beat’s Will’s neighbour half to death to save Will’s father and is therefore locked up by the city in the ape quarantine place. Which is run by a bunch of oppressive, cruel dickheads.
So Ceasar starts a revolution, smartifies all the other monkeys, and breaks the hell loose.
Oh, also the virus accidentally spreads to humans and starts killing them. Oops.
He grabbed my arm! I guess I shouldn't have been swinging an electric prod as a baton, huh?
What’s the Problem?
It takes too long to get to the monkeys-destroy-helicopters part of the movie. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, if they’d billed this as a serious film that just happens to star a CGI monkey, but the trailers make it out to be all-smashy all the time, and it ain’t.
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