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Monthly Archives: May 2011

 

 

What’s the Story?

It’s Edinburgh in the 18th century, and someone has just passed a law requiring all criminals’ corpses to be given to Doctcor Monro so he can use them as cadavers to teach the next generation of doctors. Two Irishmen conmen – Burke and Hare – discover that due to the lack of supply, Doctor Knox is willing to pay far more than the going rate for any corpses they may come across. Seeing a new business opportunity, Burke and Hare begin creating corpses.

 

What’s the Problem? 

Gollum

This sounds nit-picky (not that every critique on this site isn’t), but I can’t look at Andy Serkis‘s face without seeing Gollum. Except rather than just Gollum, it looks like Gollum has found a human face and is wearing it like a mask. That somewhat ruins the film for me, but it’s not a problem that the filmmakers could do anything about. Other than make Andy Serkis CGI again. But that would just be reaching new depths of cruelty for the poor guy. 

Stops it, Andy Serkises!

We will haunts your forever, precious!

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What’s the Story?

Nikki Heat investigates the murder of a high-profile real-estate tycoon with the help of annoying reporter Jameson Rook.

 

What’s the Real Story?

It’s totally an episode of Castle. Replace “Heat” with “Beckett” and “Rook” with “Castle” and you’re pretty much done.

This is the book Castle was writing in the first season, the first in his Nikki Heat series. Yes, someone wrote an real book based on a book written by a fictional character within a TV series.

So who actually wrote the book? I have no idea. The book’s front and back covers and acknowledgements all list “Richard Castle” as the author, and nowhere online have I found mention of anyone other than Richard Castle writing it.

Beckett, a fictional character, reads the real book Heat Wave as fictional (or real?) author Richard Castle looks on.

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What’s the Story?

The Homunculus wants to destroy the world by creating an army of the dead. This is the story of Tyler, whose whole life has been manipulated by a mysterious figure called Mister Ishmael, starting when Tyler is in school (1950s or 60s) and following him through his life as a rock star, private eye, coma patient, discoverer of the Lost City of Gold, and leader of the attack against the homunculus, whom he nearly stops.

 

What’s the Problem?

Too Much

This book isn’t actually all that bad after about 1990, but every page before that is a struggle. Tyler as a kid and a young adult is a bit dull and plain weird, and it’s not until he takes over as middle-age that the plot starts to suggest that it may, contrary to all evidence, exist.

And, yes, some of these childhood threads come back into it at the end, but not many and not any that couldn’t have been rewritten into a later part of the book.

For instance, Tyler spends the first 190-odd pages (of 410) detailing the exploits of his band, after which he becomes a private eye and never has anything to do with them. And they have nothing to do with the homunculus or the rising army of the dead. It really seems to be 190 pages of “Get the character from England to America”.
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What’s the Story?

Centres on the Sim family. Gran Sim works at a boy’s juvenile detention facility; Dan and Nathan are identical twins. Nathan lost most of his hearing in an accident. Dan is a tool.

As for the “story”, there isn’t a whole lot of plot in the first episode (no, I’m not watching more than that). It’s mockumentary style, so there’s a lot of talking to the camera but not a lot of plot development.

 

What’s the Problem?

They’re Everywhere

My biggest gripe with Angry Boys is that Chris Lilleyis everyone. He’s three characters in the pilot, but will be six by the end. That’s a lot, and no matter how diverse an actor is, that’s a whole lot of one face that you’re seeing. Yes, there’s different make-up and costume and mannerisms, but there’s the same face beneath it. The same basic mannerisms and tone of voice and… face!

Don't want to look? Chris Lilley will force you to the ground and make you stare at his face.


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What’s the Story?

It’s Groundhog Day inside the Matrix! With terrorism!

Cap’n Colter Stevens wakes up on board a train, which is weird, since the last thing he remembers is flying a helicopter in Iraq. After eight minutes the train blows up and he finds out he’s been recruited into some top-secret military programme that uses quantum physics to transport you into someone else’s short-term memory (eight minutes’ worth) .

 

What’s the Problem?

People need to chill the hell out and just take a second here

Yes, someone set off a bomb on a train and are threatening to set off a nuke in the city within a few hours, but here’s an idea: rather than yelling at him for failing his mission then sending him back in without briefing him, why don’t you adequately explain the frakking mission to Colter? Like he keeps asking you to do. He might be more motivated to succeed if you tell him that millions of lives are at stake rather than telling him “Don’t worry about those people dying of the train; they’re not important”.

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